Awanthi Vardaraj

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It was never you.

Facebook’s ‘On this day’ feature is very helpful. On this day a year ago my ex and I became Facebook official. I guess I forgot until I tripped over it today by accident; it was just sitting there, a smug […]

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I don’t believe you.

I don't believe you:

I open my eyes in the cold, dark, still water, and my arms fly out from my sides as the weights in my chest expand and balloon; I tread water as I look around, frantic, turning this way and that, […]

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Melancholia by Awanthi Vardaraj

  It is easy, when one is stupendously happy, to forget about the rest of the world, but from time to time the world has a tendency to intrude upon one’s happiness; a gentle but persistent reminder that there is […]

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Wonderful You

Wonderful You by Awanthi Vardaraj

People are noticing; they are talking about how I am becoming, evolving, growing, into myself; finding things I lost; remembering the person I used to be before I was gone, before I slipped into the abyss. Before I broke. When I would […]

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The Fluid Nature of Friendship

I was wiser in my twenties than I give myself credit for. In an old blog, in another time, I remember writing, at the tender age of twenty-two, that some friendships had use-by dates. Sadly, I didn’t remember my own […]

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Bubbles of Excitement

I said something last week that I’m not particularly proud of. During a moment of self-pity when I was bemoaning the tragedy of my life (as I put it so eloquently during that particular moment), and complaining to one of […]

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“I can show you this” – A Love Poem

For my boyfriend: There are very few people in the world with whom I can be myself; I don’t have to be all those things I make myself be; Perfect, well-turned-out, mature, diplomatic, laid-back; I can show you raw. I […]

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Laughter, Needed

Everyone who knows me knows I’m a huge Dr. Who fan. We’ve been waiting on the results of the biopsy, so I’m a bit stressed and not really amused at very much, not even the antics of the cats. So […]

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Your Body, Your Rules

What, another post, and so soon? Well, yes. I haven’t been blogging in a couple of weeks and I have some catching up to do. I read an interesting post by the friend of a friend about body hair. In […]

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For The Love Of A Child

When I was out running errands yesterday I stopped for a cup of coffee and a calming piece of biscotti in one of my favourite cafés. I wasn’t feeling particularly interested enough in humanity yesterday to indulge in my favourite café pastime of […]

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