Awanthi Vardaraj

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Alive

I’m alright. Those are probably two of my favourite words; I love them more than ‘I love you’ or ‘Please eat’ or ‘Welcome’ or ‘I’ve been thinking about you’. Those are all lovely words, in those specific combinations, but ‘I’m […]

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The Ides of March

It’s hot. The weather suddenly changed this past week and I went from huddling under the covers in bed one night to flinging them off me the next. I can’t really see that the temperature is up by too much, […]

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Brilliant little nuggets

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved […]

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It was never you.

Facebook’s ‘On this day’ feature is very helpful. On this day a year ago my ex and I became Facebook official. I guess I forgot until I tripped over it today by accident; it was just sitting there, a smug […]

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Words and Airplanes

“Everything you can imagine is real.” — Pablo Picasso It’s been too long. It’s not even as though my blog and I broke up or anything; quite the opposite; it’s always on my mind and I think of it with […]

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Melancholia

Melancholia by Awanthi Vardaraj

  It is easy, when one is stupendously happy, to forget about the rest of the world, but from time to time the world has a tendency to intrude upon one’s happiness; a gentle but persistent reminder that there is […]

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Wonderful You

Wonderful You by Awanthi Vardaraj

People are noticing; they are talking about how I am becoming, evolving, growing, into myself; finding things I lost; remembering the person I used to be before I was gone, before I slipped into the abyss. Before I broke. When I would […]

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I see you.

Crawling on flesh worn-to-the-bone, bloodied, falling, I see you. Can’t look at yourself in the mirror because you’re sure that the wrongness of the wrong was all you. I see you. Arguing with god in the secret room in your […]

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The Fluid Nature of Friendship

I was wiser in my twenties than I give myself credit for. In an old blog, in another time, I remember writing, at the tender age of twenty-two, that some friendships had use-by dates. Sadly, I didn’t remember my own […]

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Puppy Love

Three little puppies. Actually, I first noticed them because one of them wasn’t moving, although the other two were playing around her, frolicking about, and being generally joyful. I was in a small shop on the other side of the […]

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