Awanthi Vardaraj

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It was never you.

Facebook’s ‘On this day’ feature is very helpful. On this day a year ago my ex and I became Facebook official. I guess I forgot until I tripped over it today by accident; it was just sitting there, a smug […]

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I don’t believe you.

I don't believe you: awanthi.com

I open my eyes in the cold, dark, still water, and my arms fly out from my sides as the weights in my chest expand and balloon; I tread water as I look around, frantic, turning this way and that, […]

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Grief is a many-feathered thing.

There’s nothing straightforward about grief. There’s no set rule for you to follow. Past experiences are useless, because each loss is different. Pain is unique, and it is a million times worse when you don’t understand why you have to experience […]

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Lost in the Woods

  There are moments you never see coming. Not because they don’t exist in the realm of possibility but because they couldn’t possibly happen to you; they couldn’t possibly happen in your world. Like, you could be skipping along the […]

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Wonderful You

Wonderful You by Awanthi Vardaraj

People are noticing; they are talking about how I am becoming, evolving, growing, into myself; finding things I lost; remembering the person I used to be before I was gone, before I slipped into the abyss. Before I broke. When I would […]

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