Awanthi Vardaraj

In Her Own Words

Toast & Tolerance

There was a time I cared enough to question it, when they said that things would get better. Where is eventually’s address? And are we there yet? Are we there yet? Sitting tracing circles on the smoky windows of memory, […]

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Pain – A Look Back

Written on September 16th, 2003 – Based on a conversation with a friend (referred to in this post as ‘you’). I think my failing, my utter failing, is my tendency to feel as much as I can, whether it is […]

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Nothing But Time

Last week I discovered Hong Yi’s amazing art; as you can see from the link, she’s on a mission to play with her food for a month. Her work captivated me and I became an instant fan. I think she’s […]

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“I can show you this” – A Love Poem

For my boyfriend: There are very few people in the world with whom I can be myself; I don’t have to be all those things I make myself be; Perfect, well-turned-out, mature, diplomatic, laid-back; I can show you raw. I […]

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Why I’m Thinking of Deleting My Post That Went Viral

It feels like a lost cause to me at this moment because, once again, I’ve checked in to WordPress to find that my sight stats are peaking oddly and that a lot of people are looking at my blog. I […]

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Life And Other Updates

I know, I know, I know. It’s been a long time since I last updated. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy with so much, and I’ve been dealing with a lot. I posted a while back about my health scare. It’s not cancer, […]

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The New Normal

It was a sitcom that started like many others; an adorable couple in love at the centre of it, surrounded by a cast of family and close friends, each with their own quirks. I watched the first episode out of […]

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Dusk in Paris

I’m thinking of you today, Marie. I’m thinking of the way we walked arm in arm down the Champs-Élysées, two carefree girls who felt beautiful and invincible; I remember the wonderfully strong coffee in that little café you insisted we try, and […]

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The Sunshine Pill

I have a vitamin D deficiency, apparently. I have to take this supplement for an unspecified while, to build my body’s supplies up. I call it the sunshine pill. Look at it; double-sided, pale on one side, as orange as […]

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Dented, Painted, Indian, Woman

I am all of it. I am dented by life; I am forever changed by the experiences I have had. I have been shaped as I have lived, for I have embraced life. The lessons learned were sometimes not learned, […]

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