What, another post, and so soon? Well, yes. I haven’t been blogging in a couple of weeks and I have some catching up to do.
I read an interesting post by the friend of a friend about body hair. In other words, a woman’s body hair. In other other words, this is THAT post about body hair. You know, the one nobody wants to talk about.
This isn’t about body shaming; in fact, it’s just the opposite. I hope that my thoughts on this issue will help you ladies see that your body is YOUR wonderland, and whatever you want to do that makes you happy/comfortable/content is your choice. Nay, it is your RIGHT.
So, the condensed post pretty much comes down to this: It’s your body. Do whatever the hell you want. Don’t bother asking your lover what he wants you to do with your body, because, well, it’s none of his business.
I commented on her post leaving my fierce approval. I don’t understand the fascination with going bare. Sure, I may have tried it myself in my turbulent twenties, but it’s not something I persisted with. Nor do I advocate it. (However, if you want to do that, it’s fine by me. This is more about the ‘ask your partner what he wants’ thing.)
Of course a few people responded positively and then there were some people who dissented, as is the way with most things. One particular commenter implied that it was important to ask your partner and involve them because it was important what they wanted.
It’s important what they want in every other area. Absolutely. A relationship is a partnership is an equal thing. But nobody has the right to tell you what their preferences are when it comes to your body. Nobody. It has nothing to do with your sexuality, or his/your sexual preferences. It has everything to do with the fact that your body is YOURS.
In many cultures (including here) women typically remove all their body hair (from below their necks) so as to be completely bare in preparation for their wedding nights. I’m given to understand that this is a one-time thing and there are no ‘rules’ about what one does afterwards.
I have to say that the concept of changing your body or your habits to appease your partner disturbs me. I personally have a distaste for facial hair in men, yet, when I fell in love with a man who has always had a beard (his entire adult life) I never once demanded that he remove it simply to suit me. It wasn’t my place, I felt, what he did with his facial hair and his comfort zone (he felt that he had a small chin and had grown accustomed to his beard). Now imagine if I’d gone rampaging into that relationship with those demands.
One of my friends had a breast enlargement recently to make her boyfriend happy; I was amazed and aghast at her decision to do so. She now suffers from lower back pain and shooting pains in her right breast, but her boyfriend wanted it, so hey. Where is it going to end? Why do we feel the need to change ourselves because the people who purportedly love us for who we are suddenly decide that they don’t? What will she/we do next? Starve ourselves? Have our ankles thinned? Go back to wearing corsets that give us wasp waists? Refuse to age?
And is that what we need to do to be loved? Because that’s too high a price to pay.